If you were to ever look at a picture of me... ever, you'll see that I wear skirts. Lots of them. All the time. I've had people assume that this was a matter of conviction. That I believe that in skirts lies the answer to modesty.
It's not though.
It has almost nothing to do with modesty. But it has everything to do with pleasing my husband.
My husband likes to look at me in skirts.
When he sees me in a skirt, with my hair down and my makeup on(It's a hard thing for a mom of two under 2 to accomplish people!), his eyes glaze over a bit, and then that look happens. That one that melts me right to the core, and I know that he is fiercely attracted to me in that moment. It has nothing to do with the skin I'm baring, or how tight my clothes are. It has everything to do with how in that moment, he knows that I am wearing it for him.
Yes, I believe that for my body type, skirts are the most modest choice. I'm hippy and curvy, and pants always seem to grab in just the wrong places. But I could find pants that worked if I wanted to. But I want to please my husband, so I wear skirts. I hated it at first, but there are a couple of Biblical principles that changed my mind. And not a single one of them has to do with modesty.
It has to do with capturing my husbands attention. Does this verse look familiar to any one?
Proverbs 5: 18-21 (KJV)
18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
20. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
21. For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.
Yes, I realize this is a warning for men, but I think in there is a note for women too. You are to satisfy your husband at all times, and part of that is on him... but I think part of that is on wives too! If you know your husband likes to see you with your hair down, let that hair go every once in awhile. If you know your husband likes to see you in blue... wear it. Find out what makes him look at you and think "I'm married to her. I can't believe God gave me her." Of course, unless you are in your bedroom, stick in the realm of modesty here ladies.
In our society, pleasing your partner has become a thing of the past. It's all about the bottom line, all about what I can get for me. What does it benefit me to run around in clothes that make it harder to chase after toddlers, or leave my hair down for Miah to pull on? It doesn't, but it does benefit my husband.
Notice something that verse links to being satisfied with your wife? Not being satisfied with the strange woman. I want my husbands eyes to be so captured by me he doesn't have time to look at that woman who wore the yoga pants and to small shirt to run in. For the sake of his spiritual life, I want him to not feel the need to look. Men are visual beings ladies! Their eyes are drawn to look in the same way womens minds are drawn to fantasy. It leads them to sin. So help them along!
I can already hear the protests in the background!
"But it's not my job to make sure my husband doesn't sin! It's his! I can dress how I want, I'm a 21st century woman! Do you want to send us back to the stone age?"
I beg to differ. What if some of the responsibility does lie with women, with wives? What if being attractive to my husband is part of being a good wife? Sure, men are responsible for their eyes, but why shouldn't wives help? Now, am I saying you should wear a shirt that is to low cut to be considered modest because your husband enjoys your breasts? No, of course not. But maybe you wear his favourite bra and let him know it before you leave the house. He will be so distracted by the idea of that bra that hopefully he won't care about the other breasts that are constantly on display in our day and age.
Captivate him ladies. He would have to a saint not to struggle to keep his eyes pure in this society. Help him keep them full of the one person he's allowed to look at without guilt. YOU.